Today is the 4th anniversary of my wedding day with my wonderful wife.
We got married on a gorgeous day in Colorado at a beautiful place, surrounded by friends and family that love us; truly one of the best days of my life.
The reason for our success is a variety of things, probably many more things than I will mention here but my wife is the number one reason in my book. Of course we balance each other well, I’m a bit impulsive and she balances me there… I won’t list any more for fear of inserting my foot in my mouth, which I do a lot. I often have good intentions but the words may not come out the way I intended.
I know that I post on most days about the day-to-day aspects of Thomas and I, what we do, how he is doing, where we went and how I dealt with things. What I do not often post about is how I get through the day, the week, or the month… Well I am here to share with everyone that the reason I am able to stay at home with Thomas each day and still be a sane adult is because of my wife. When she comes home from work, she will take Thomas to spend their quality time together. I’m sure that she wants to spend time with Thomas, but she will usually take him right away so that I can relax. We are in a situation that most couples are not, where we can empathize with each other on the emotions of the day. Dogs stressed me out during nap time? She understands… Thomas didn’t want to take his afternoon nap today and is fussy? She understands… Mailman came up and knocked on the door, making the dogs go crazy, the baby cry, me pull my hair out, all while trying to get him to take a nap? She understands…
I know that she has it harder than I do. She wakes up to feed Thomas during the night which could be once or multiple times… she gets up early to go to work, works all day in a stressful office with people that do not always understand her job or responsibilities or why she is attempting to do what she is doing… she pumps breastmilk at work so that Thomas has milk for the next day. Then she comes home, takes Thomas from me, cooks dinner more frequently than I do, gives him a bath every other day, does his bedtime routine and puts him to sleep.
Me? I get to sleep until 8am or after on most days. I get a break after 4pm or so when she gets home and I just put the bath stuff away and wash bottles for the next day. I get to play with Thomas all day long, go to parks, go on hikes, laugh and giggle while she deals with difficult people… I really feel like I have the better end of the bargain here.
My wife is the voice of reason in our relationship. She understands and loves me for who I am and I do not mean the person I pretend to be, but the person I really am, faults and all. That is the rare thing here. When I started this blog and started devoting a lot of time to getting more traffic, SEO, Twitter, and other social media she let me know that she was behind me for the obvious reasons that the blog helps me share our story and document an important time in our son’s life. But she also let me know that I shouldn’t get too passionate and forget about she and Thomas, which I tend to do (throw myself into a new project with everything I have). This is what I love about her… She knows my faults and still loves me. She doesn’t try to change me (at least that much ). She encourages me to get out and spend some time away from her and Thomas, for me to be an individual as well as her husband and Thomas’ father.
I know that we are still figuring all of this parenting and family stuff out, but without my wife there to support me, we would have failed a long time ago!
I love you and hope that Thomas can look back on this someday and go… “So that is why their marriage works!” Of course we communicate a lot, much more than we used to.. that is key in any relationship. We also share similar goals and we talk about them frequently, both short term and long term goals. We want the best for Thomas too and that is helpful. I am sure that the fact she was so supportive of me quitting my job and staying home with Thomas each day is a big sign that she trusts in me and my ability to raise our son right.
We definitely need to figure out how to get more alone time and how to keep our intimacy strong, but I imagine that is something all couples with small/young children go through. Parenting is definitely a sacrifice for everyone involved.