Mar 072012
 
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Like most parents… before we knew the gender during pregnancy, we both said we would be happy with either a boy or a girl.

As most fathers-to-be feared, I figured that we were going to have a girl as payback for the years that I was dating etc (trust me this is the fear of most dads-to be). My fear wasn’t that rational really as I didn’t know how to take care of a child at all, but you pick it up very quickly once you bring that baby home and you have no choice but to care for him/her.

I was scared of the female emotion that I may not be able to connect with, that a daughter may not share my interests in being outside, working on jeeps, camping, sports, math/science, taking things apart and putting them back together, getting dirty etc. (yes most of these could be stereotypes) I think most of all I was scared of the tween to teenage years and the difference of plumbing between boys and girls. Changing diapers was scary enough before I started doing it 10 times a day, but the thought of dealing with female anatomy made me that much more skittish.

Now, our son may not share any of my interests, only time will tell, but I feel like having a boy first has made fatherhood easier on me. I have been given confidence that I can do it, do it well, and a happy child will result. We laugh and play all day, I already know I am not a push-over Dad and will be both the loving and caring parent but also the stern and strict parent when I need to.

While at this stage my wife and I have no plans to have any more children, I know that I now could have a daughter and not be so scared about it. If it were to happen I may have to clench my teeth during the tween and teen years lest I explode, but I’d survive.

  22 Responses to “I’m Really Glad We Had a Boy…”

  1. What a face! I think that’s how most dads-to-be feel! Our middle is a girl and I think hubby was happy to have one of each. When our third came, though, he was relieved to find out testosterone would rule the roost over estrogen!

  2. I have a 25 year old son, an 18 year old daughter…AND a 3 year old daughter. When I first found out about the third pregnancy, I was in the midst of the teen years of my oldest daughter. Both of my older children and I struggled through emotionally and relationally during those tween/teen years, but by and large it was much more difficult for me to navigate with the girl – at least that was my perception. So, I hoped for a boy but was blessed with a little girl.

    From what little I’ve read, you are a fabulous daddy and any girl would be lucky to have you, as much as Thomas is.

  3. Well said! I was in the ultrasound appointment when my wife was pregnant with our second surrounded by my mom, my mother-in-law, and my daughter – and had this extraordinary desire to have a son. Fortunately – we did! :) Great post!

  4. I asked my daughter if she wanted a girl. “Girls are too much drama,” she said.

  5. I’m glad I had a boy! Girls are drama! :) I was a tom-boy growing up so I felt like having a boy would be easier. I was right! Boys can be sensitive, but not a sensitive as girls.

    • This reminds me of a thought I had while writing this post… I hope that I raise my son to be sensitive and know that it is OK to share those emotions instead of feeling like that will make him weak.

  6. I have three daughters aged 11-16 and it’s quite a challenge. I’m also a single mom so I like to say God knew what he was doing because I would have no idea what to do with a boy. That said, as we’re in the middle of the teen emotional years and I hear my friends tell me how much easier boys are, I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.

    • Wow three daughters at that age range seems like it sure could be a challenge! Boys are a different kind of difficult, such as causing trouble or doing things they shouldn’t be…

  7. You sound like a great dad to your son, as I’m sure you would whether you had a son or daughter. I am one of only two girls in my family, and I don’t think my dad ever felt unable to relate to his daughters or felt like he was lacking male bonding without a son. I guess because we were tomboys and played sports and fixed cars with him. I love the title and subject matter of your blog. Keep it up. It’s nice to read about other bay area parents.

    • Thank you for the reply :) Parenting isn’t easy (as a whole). Day-by-day is great but there are struggles and challenges, that is for sure!

  8. Believe it or not, I was actually the easier as a teen for my parents to deal with than my two brothers. Just ask them! I think a lot of it just depends on the kid. In response to you feeling lucky to have had a son, I touched upon these sentiments about my daughter in a post I wrote a couple of months ago ( http://kccd.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/getting-personal/ ). I think what makes us feel most lucky about our children, is the fact that they are our children. :)

    • Great story and thank you for sharing it, perhaps it was that we were both expecting the opposite, as you said in your post, that we are so glad!

  9. I have said many times that I’m glad I have boys, as I think I’m much better suited to be a boy mom. People ask me if I want to try for a little girl, and my response is no, that my boys are just fine with me! (Although some days my older child can be as dramatic as a teenage girl…! LOL)

  10. I think about this topic alot. I was a girly-girl growing up and I cried when I found out I was having a boy, for all the same reasons you listed. I just worried if I knew how to raise a boy well, and if I would be interested in any of the things he would be (all the things you listed!). Well, I fell in love with my son and can appreciate boys in a way that I don’t think I could had I not had a son. I’ve also become much more active (even learned to swim, finally!) and much more interested in math and science thanks to him. So, if you had a daughter, you would have loved it too. But yeah, boys are great, aren’t they? But mainly we love them because they’re who they are.

  11. I love those cheeks!! What a doll face :) Love to see a father blogging :)

  12. What a cute little man:) I like your honesty. Keep it up!

  13. I definitely feel that boys are much, much easier to control as they get older. Interesting post! I completely agree.

  14. I’m glad you are enjoying your son and hope that he takes on at least a few of your interests. I am pushing for sports and Springsteen.

  15. I had to laugh while reading this because I could totally relate. I SO wanted to have a boy and had myself convinced that I was, in fact, having a boy, that when I gave birth and the doctor said, “It’s a girl!”, my immediate reaction was, “WHAT?!” I’m a woman but I cite the same reasons you do about why I wanted to have a boy: I am such a tomboy – I live for sports, I love the outdoors – that I thought my daughter & I would never have anything in common. She’s 3 now and she’s developed her own little persona. She can be a total tomboy but she also likes to play dress-up and pretend she’s a princess. It’s all good :-)

    • Well Thomas may go through periods of time where he likes dress up or pretending to be a princess and that is okay with me.

      Thanks for the comment Francesca!

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