Like most parents… before we knew the gender during pregnancy, we both said we would be happy with either a boy or a girl.
As most fathers-to-be feared, I figured that we were going to have a girl as payback for the years that I was dating etc (trust me this is the fear of most dads-to be). My fear wasn’t that rational really as I didn’t know how to take care of a child at all, but you pick it up very quickly once you bring that baby home and you have no choice but to care for him/her.
I was scared of the female emotion that I may not be able to connect with, that a daughter may not share my interests in being outside, working on jeeps, camping, sports, math/science, taking things apart and putting them back together, getting dirty etc. (yes most of these could be stereotypes) I think most of all I was scared of the tween to teenage years and the difference of plumbing between boys and girls. Changing diapers was scary enough before I started doing it 10 times a day, but the thought of dealing with female anatomy made me that much more skittish.
Now, our son may not share any of my interests, only time will tell, but I feel like having a boy first has made fatherhood easier on me. I have been given confidence that I can do it, do it well, and a happy child will result. We laugh and play all day, I already know I am not a push-over Dad and will be both the loving and caring parent but also the stern and strict parent when I need to.
While at this stage my wife and I have no plans to have any more children, I know that I now could have a daughter and not be so scared about it. If it were to happen I may have to clench my teeth during the tween and teen years lest I explode, but I’d survive.
What a face! I think that’s how most dads-to-be feel! Our middle is a girl and I think hubby was happy to have one of each. When our third came, though, he was relieved to find out testosterone would rule the roost over estrogen!
I have a 25 year old son, an 18 year old daughter…AND a 3 year old daughter. When I first found out about the third pregnancy, I was in the midst of the teen years of my oldest daughter. Both of my older children and I struggled through emotionally and relationally during those tween/teen years, but by and large it was much more difficult for me to navigate with the girl – at least that was my perception. So, I hoped for a boy but was blessed with a little girl.
From what little I’ve read, you are a fabulous daddy and any girl would be lucky to have you, as much as Thomas is.
Well said! I was in the ultrasound appointment when my wife was pregnant with our second surrounded by my mom, my mother-in-law, and my daughter – and had this extraordinary desire to have a son. Fortunately – we did!
Great post!
I asked my daughter if she wanted a girl. “Girls are too much drama,” she said.
I know they can both be great, the raw emotion of girls still scares me!
I’m glad I had a boy! Girls are drama!
I was a tom-boy growing up so I felt like having a boy would be easier. I was right! Boys can be sensitive, but not a sensitive as girls.
This reminds me of a thought I had while writing this post… I hope that I raise my son to be sensitive and know that it is OK to share those emotions instead of feeling like that will make him weak.
I have three daughters aged 11-16 and it’s quite a challenge. I’m also a single mom so I like to say God knew what he was doing because I would have no idea what to do with a boy. That said, as we’re in the middle of the teen emotional years and I hear my friends tell me how much easier boys are, I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.
Wow three daughters at that age range seems like it sure could be a challenge! Boys are a different kind of difficult, such as causing trouble or doing things they shouldn’t be…
You sound like a great dad to your son, as I’m sure you would whether you had a son or daughter. I am one of only two girls in my family, and I don’t think my dad ever felt unable to relate to his daughters or felt like he was lacking male bonding without a son. I guess because we were tomboys and played sports and fixed cars with him. I love the title and subject matter of your blog. Keep it up. It’s nice to read about other bay area parents.
Thank you for the reply
Parenting isn’t easy (as a whole). Day-by-day is great but there are struggles and challenges, that is for sure!
Believe it or not, I was actually the easier as a teen for my parents to deal with than my two brothers. Just ask them! I think a lot of it just depends on the kid. In response to you feeling lucky to have had a son, I touched upon these sentiments about my daughter in a post I wrote a couple of months ago ( http://kccd.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/getting-personal/ ). I think what makes us feel most lucky about our children, is the fact that they are our children.
Great story and thank you for sharing it, perhaps it was that we were both expecting the opposite, as you said in your post, that we are so glad!
I have said many times that I’m glad I have boys, as I think I’m much better suited to be a boy mom. People ask me if I want to try for a little girl, and my response is no, that my boys are just fine with me! (Although some days my older child can be as dramatic as a teenage girl…! LOL)
I think about this topic alot. I was a girly-girl growing up and I cried when I found out I was having a boy, for all the same reasons you listed. I just worried if I knew how to raise a boy well, and if I would be interested in any of the things he would be (all the things you listed!). Well, I fell in love with my son and can appreciate boys in a way that I don’t think I could had I not had a son. I’ve also become much more active (even learned to swim, finally!) and much more interested in math and science thanks to him. So, if you had a daughter, you would have loved it too. But yeah, boys are great, aren’t they? But mainly we love them because they’re who they are.
I love those cheeks!! What a doll face
Love to see a father blogging 
What a cute little man:) I like your honesty. Keep it up!
I definitely feel that boys are much, much easier to control as they get older. Interesting post! I completely agree.
I’m glad you are enjoying your son and hope that he takes on at least a few of your interests. I am pushing for sports and Springsteen.
I’m just hoping it isn’t ALL video games and ignoring his parents
I had to laugh while reading this because I could totally relate. I SO wanted to have a boy and had myself convinced that I was, in fact, having a boy, that when I gave birth and the doctor said, “It’s a girl!”, my immediate reaction was, “WHAT?!” I’m a woman but I cite the same reasons you do about why I wanted to have a boy: I am such a tomboy – I live for sports, I love the outdoors – that I thought my daughter & I would never have anything in common. She’s 3 now and she’s developed her own little persona. She can be a total tomboy but she also likes to play dress-up and pretend she’s a princess. It’s all good
Well Thomas may go through periods of time where he likes dress up or pretending to be a princess and that is okay with me.
Thanks for the comment Francesca!