Mar 162012
 
Thomas Tub

That's right, a guest post... my very first and it is courtesy of my wife.

She sent this letter to her sister who was expecting a little girl. She wanted to share all of the knowledge and information she had gained during the first few months of staying home with Thomas after he was born.

Hoping to pass this information on to her sister, she shared this with me months later so I could share this with all of you.

Things I want my sister to know:

  • Treasure every moment - even when she is screaming and you are at your end of the rope. Take a second to know it will pass, and she may just start to giggle and smile at the end. :)  
  • Burp cloths are your best friend. Heck we have burp blankets - sometimes it takes a blanket to get it all!!
  • Yes you will be peed, pooped and spit-up on. Know that it will all wash off and your clothes, blankets, couch - they are all cleanable!! 
  • A sleeping baby is one of the most precious things - remember to wake her gently - I whisper in Thomas' ear that his mommy is here and waking him up to ...
  • The Internet can be your best friend and worst enemy - if what you are reading bothers you, put it down and go back to your baby, chances are that whatever is happening today will be totally different tomorrow and different the next day and the next... 
  • Even though you may know everything about your baby girl - how she likes to be held, what certain cries mean, etc - make sure that her dad spends just as much time with her. An early bond will make it easier for him as well.
  • Teach each other - his way may just be better than yours. Ask your friends with kids the best places to change the baby when your out. For example some Babies R Us have mommy rooms where you can breast feed her while you are out. Another cool thing I found was a family restroom at the mall which had a changing table, chair to sit and feed, a little kid potty, and an adult size potty. I was amazed to see a little kid potty at the mall!!Remember your baby and her needs come first. While feeding Thomas in one of these cool family bathrooms - a little girl kept checking the door to see if it was locked. I was thinking to myself that I have to hurry to finish feeding Thomas so someone else can get in. But then I thought to myself - no way! This is a family bathroom and the people outside should understand what is happening and teach their own kids some manners!! 
  • Get out of the house!! Go for a walk, go get the mail everyday, have someone go with you the first few times to get the hang of things and then venture out on your own with your lil one :)
  • Sleep when the baby sleeps. I know everyone says this but actually do it. Your body and mind will thank you for it later. Even just 15 minutes will feel like an hour!
  • Create a space for you and the baby in a comfortable place outside of the bedroom. By this I mean - venture out of the bedroom with your little girl every day. This creates routine for her and helps you to regain some normalcy once you are up for it. Our living room is my little sanctuary with changing station, clothes, blankets, spit-up cloths, and the tv. Yes - the tv will become a companion those first few days/weeks at home.
  • Don't always follow what the "experts" are telling you. For example, my Breastfeeding technique would kill a lactation consultant to see. But it works the best for Thomas and a happy baby is all that counts!!

Please share any other information that you think would benefit an expecting mom or new mom (or dad!), hopefully this page will help someone out at some point!

(I’d just like to add that it is obvious my wife did an amazing job because Thomas is an amazing child!)

  32 Responses to “Guest Post: Things I Want My Sister to Know… Advice for Mom’s-To-Be”

  1. Hi!
    Thanks for reading and liking my recent post. I’ll be back to read yours soon. Thomas is adorable.
    All best wishes,
    Elana

  2. I think that it’s really cool that your love for parenting and for your family are so evident in every post you make. The way you’ve devoted yourself so fully to the parenting experience is admirable.

    Not being a parent myself, obviously I can’t fully relate to much of what you write. I love my cats in kind of the same way, but there are no baths and no burping (cause they’d be really angry)..

    Anyway, keep up the great posts. :)

    • Thanks Michelle, before our son we had our three dogs and a cat. They were our children in a way as we learned some responsibility and that we had to care for another living thing beside ourselves. Of course pets in your home are nothing compared to having a child…

  3. awww. great post. Thomas is a cutie-pie!!

  4. These are great! I would add one thing…learn to laugh at yourself. You’re going to make mistakes, we all do (regardless of what some would want you to believe). So, don’t take yourself so seriously when you screw up. Just laugh it off and hope no one else saw your error. :)

    • Amie,
      Good call. I was thinking of adding a section to my blog of other parenting tips as I thought of them, but I think this post would be good for that :)

  5. This blog is adorable,what a lovely idea. I’d love to come back and read it when it’s my time to have children!

    Also, thank you for liking my blog post Food Diaries — Succulent and crispy duck leg confit! I really appreciate it.

    • Thank you for taking the time to comment, Juliet! I love going through the food section and drooling over all of the amazing pictures!

  6. This is a lovely post. love all the points but especially the waking with a whisper and get out of the house. Out of interest as a Bf Peer supporter, I’d love to see ur wife’s breastfeeding technique! ;)

    • Kate, I’ll have to ask my wife if she can describe it or take a picture. I don’t think that her breastfeeding technique is abnormal anymore, but it may have been early on because that was the way that Thomas latched. I think her point was that early on you do what works best for mommy and baby whether or not it is considered a technique or not, if the baby latches well and eats fully, then job well done. Breastfeeding is a learning process for both mommy and baby. After a few weeks they got it worked out very well and to this day Thomas is still eating that way.

      • Sounds and looks like your wife (and you) have and are doing a brilliant job. I just thought she might have a fabulous photo of a wacky way to breastfeed :D
        It’s definitely about finding your own ways of doing things. There’s a video on YouTube of a lady Breastfeeding upside down doing a handstand!

        Lovely blog. I will be back to read more :)

        P.s. Your baby boy is adorable

        • Her method is pretty standard now, but I’ll ask her to do a handstand while feeding Thomas so I can get a photo. ;) Or maybe a backflip!

  7. Good, swwt advice. My favorite I think was the waking gently remark……..lovely.

    • Hehe… Yes our methods are very different. When I wake up Thomas (he is already awake) and I say “Is there an awake baby in here?” To which I hear him turn his head to the door, typically squeal in excitement and kick his legs. This is one of the cutest things and why he is such a joy to wake up!

  8. Very nice advice. Thanks for posting that!

  9. This is a great list! Mine is 10 months old and it’s still hard to sleep when he sleeps. There’s so much stuff I need to do when he shuts his peepers. When I do give in and take a short nap with him, I am so refreshed…even if it is only 15 minutes : )

    • Patty, I may need my wife to write another one now that Thomas is seven months old. Perhaps write one from a working mom’s perspective?

      Thanks for the comment!

  10. Ahhhh…that’s adorable…(-:

  11. Great advice about keeping Dad in the picture. My hubbie took over the kid duties in the evening even though he’d worked outside the house all day.

    • I think that is important (of course my perspective is swapped). When I was working I wasn’t taking all of the opportunities that I could to spend time with Thomas and that was making it even harder on on my wife than it needed to be. Now that our roles are reversed, my wife fully understands how nice it is to get a break and she takes over on “Thomas duty” once she gets home :)

  12. Love this!

  13. I love collective wisdom… and there’s a lot of wisdom in this post. As a mum of 4 – all grown up now – I treasure the memories of when they were little.
    PS thanks for liking my post :)

    • Thanks for replying :) I’m hoping that the info is useful to someone down the rode. There are so many unanswered questions for new parents… Of course every parent has to go down their own path and as a mom of four you know that better than most…

  14. Lovely blog! It’s great to see you share parenting approaches so openly. And I always love to meet stay-at-home dads, it’s so great for our children’s generation to know that parents are equal and proper parents, whatever their gender.

    It’s also nice to be reminded of these baby days, I’m sure you are but enjoy every moment. It really does go so fast. As you saw on my blog, I’m facing slightly different parenting issues now mine are 6 and 8! Have fun!

    • Indeed they grow up fast… I can’t believe that he is already 7 months old, feels like yesterday he was born…

      Thanks for the reply!

    • Every day trumps the previous for how amazing kids are; while being a challenge!

  15. Great article! I loved the knowledge and also the advice given . Further, your article writing style is very fun to read. If you have time kindly browse my brand new webpage and let me know what you think.

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