I don’t typically read the Huffington Post, but lately there have been some great blogs in there that have come at the right time. First the “Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago” and now the “It Will Get Better”.
First… every parent will judge pretty much every other parent, I think this is a fact of life and just part of how we compare and contrast one parenting method to another. What works for one child may not work for another so judging isn’t always fair because we probably see less than 1% of the daily life of that child/parent (always in the worst scenario, right?). Being able to apologize for the things you thought, felt and said before you had kids is a bit easier once you’ve had kids because you now know the difference in mentality between an adult and an adult with children. You understand that you sacrifice much to make your household work, that you succumb to your child so the days go well. While you may not struggle just to make it through the day, there are hard days and there is sacrifice and you are no longer that same person you were before you had a child. I always have some drive to complete that errand which isn’t really that important but if completed would actually feel like I accomplished something that day. I know that I don’t have to do it, nothing really important will stop working with or without it, but I feel good about it, that puts some accomplishment into my day.
Parenting is the hardest job that I have ever had and I am just beginning. In fact, I feel like our son is easy to care for, has a wonderful disposition, and makes getting through the day easier because he is with me. Of course all of this may change next week or even tomorrow. Each child develops at his or her own speed and each has a differing personality so what works for one child may not work at all for another. That is why there is so much parenting advice out there.
Having touched on 5% of why parenting is so difficult, it was a relief to read Devon Corneal’s blog post titled “It Will Get Better“. There is an upside… things will continually get better, things will continually get easier! Your children will interact with you more and more. Slowly you will regain time for YOU! There will even be a day that you will do things without your kids FOR YOURSELF! While I know all of this to be true, it all sounds like a fantasy… if I were to have a dream, it would be to still have my son in my life and our family the way it is, but also to be my own person again. I know we’ll get there eventually. Parents really do give up a lot of themselves to raise their children.
I don’t want Thomas to grow up too fast or too quickly; he is already doing that, but the thought that we will be able to be active participants in his life, experiencing his daily triumphs and be there for his failures while also once again leading our lives for us does seem pretty appealing. Kind of like having your cake and eating it too in a way. I must be a new parent because having the best of both worlds in that sense is what I would wish for right now.
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read the article, it put a smile on my face!