Mar 192012
 
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I don’t typically read the Huffington Post, but lately there have been some great blogs in there that have come at the right time. First the “Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago” and now the “It Will Get Better”.

First… every parent will judge pretty much every other parent, I think this is a fact of life and just part of how we compare and contrast one parenting method to another. What works for one child may not work for another so judging isn’t always fair because we probably see less than 1% of the daily life of that child/parent (always in the worst scenario, right?). Being able to apologize for the things you thought, felt and said before you had kids is a bit easier once you’ve had kids because you now know the difference in mentality between an adult and an adult with children. You understand that you sacrifice much to make your household work, that you succumb to your child so the days go well. While you may not struggle just to make it through the day, there are hard days and there is sacrifice and you are no longer that same person you were before you had a child. I always have some drive to complete that errand which isn’t really that important but if completed would actually feel like I accomplished something that day. I know that I don’t have to do it, nothing really important will stop working with or without it, but I feel good about it, that puts some accomplishment into my day.

Parenting is the hardest job that I have ever had and I am just beginning. In fact, I feel like our son is easy to care for, has a wonderful disposition, and makes getting through the day easier because he is with me. Of course all of this may change next week or even tomorrow. Each child develops at his or her own speed and each has a differing personality so what works for one child may not work at all for another. That is why there is so much parenting advice out there.

Having touched on 5% of why parenting is so difficult, it was a relief to read Devon Corneal’s blog post titled “It Will Get Better“. There is an upside… things will continually get better, things will continually get easier! Your children will interact with you more and more. Slowly you will regain time for YOU! There will even be a day that you will do things without your kids FOR YOURSELF! While I know all of this to be true, it all sounds like a fantasy… if I were to have a dream, it would be to still have my son in my life and our family the way it is, but also to be my own person again. I know we’ll get there eventually. Parents really do give up a lot of themselves to raise their children.

I don’t want Thomas to grow up too fast or too quickly; he is already doing that, but the thought that we will be able to be active participants in his life, experiencing his daily triumphs and be there for his failures while also once again leading our lives for us does seem pretty appealing. Kind of like having your cake and eating it too in a way. I must be a new parent because having the best of both worlds in that sense is what I would wish for right now.

If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read the article, it put a smile on my face! :)

  14 Responses to ““It Will Get Better” – Devon Corneal Puts Some Positivity In Your Parenting Future”

  1. Oh my, how often people would tell me that little phrase! It will get better! Aaden was a very difficult baby at first; he would not nap, not sleep through the night, whine most of the time, would constantly want to be in my arms… I wouldn’t have mind, only, I was alone. My husband works far away, weeks at a time. So I was constantly tired all the time and taking care of a baby who is cranky, And being diabetic on top of it… Regardless of what others would suggest, nothing would work. And people without kids would stop coming to my house for a visit. Things started to change a lot!

    But then, just only recently, (A little before his first birthday) He started to sleep from 7:30PM to 6:30AM. And now my perspective is completely different. Plus the fact that he is starting to speak, he loves going to the park, is very sociable with other kids, and each day I can see something new about him, something he’s learned on his own… Makes me so very proud!

    It DOES get better. With everything. But like you, I try to enjoy every single day (Even the ones where he’s in a bad mood) because he is growing sooooo quickly… I don’t want to miss a thing!

    • Thanks Valerie Anne,

      I hope my post didn’t come across too sour or “I can’t take it anymore!!!!!!”… I have already began to notice how much easier the days are getting while Thomas is around seven months, but I fear this is the calm before the storm… walking/crawling… throwing food on the floor, meals going from taking 30 minutes to an hour, this is what I fear is next.

  2. I totally agree with you! I have to keep telling myself this through each phase that my daughter goes through. I definitely doesn’t get easier, just different. And it does make it better to be able to talk things out with your kids as they get a little older.

    • Well, honestly I think it does get easier in a sense because the problems we have been struggling with become solved or we find solutions to them, but they do get replaced by problems that we must then figure out how to deal with and find solutions to. This never ending struggle (called parenting) is indeed difficult, but those precious moments where you can enjoy your child’s company and see their growth, love and affection for you really make it all worth it.

  3. hey thanks for stopping by my blog the other day. It’s always great to connect with other parents online, especially if they are blogging too :)
    Jaime @ atlanticmama.wordpress.com

  4. Very well said! Great pic 2!

  5. It gets better, but each age brings different challenges.

    • I think everyone must have a picture of their child in a laundry basket or in a baby bath tub. lol so cute! I agree it does get better and every age brings it’s own challenges. I remember when my children were little especially my first born people would tell me “oh you wait until the terrible two’s” you’ll never want to have another child. Well at the time I was working in retail and i saw those terrible two year olds! I’d never heard a two year scream so loud in my life and it was over something she wanted that her mother refused to buy. She kicked and screamed and fell out on the floor. lol Everyone looked at the mother and she ignored them and her toddler. Well when my daughter turned two I wait for the explosion. I had my I am the mommy gear on ready to fight battle. Nothing. Not even a temper tantrum. I waited for this nice little angle to turn into satan. Nope. I got past two, three, four and so on without a nervous breakdown. I was fortunate so everyone said. The same thing happened when I had my other two children. Nothing. The only thing I had to worry about was my second daughters curiosity at two and her little feet taking her places she should not be going. The teen years with my second daughter were tough but not so much where I wanted to pull my hair out I just had to get tougher and it worked. Bask in the glory of your mild mannered little boy now and when you see him start to develop horns just brace yourself and say this to shall pass.

      • I’m bracing myself, preparing for the worst…. (maybe in the hopes that I will make it so bad in my head that it will seem totally fine by comparison).

        Thanks for the reply Lori :)

    • I hear that!

  6. It does get better, easier and more fun! As a mother to a 21-year-old who is in college and an 18-year-old who will be heading off to college in the fall, I can also tell you that it all goes by so fast. Seems like it wasn’t that long ago I was taking pictures of my babies in laundry baskets!

    I like your point that we all do judge other parents– it is part of how we figure out what works for us.

    Also, thanks for stopping by my blog!

  7. I never judged other parents because I chose never to be a parent myself. As one of Utah’s worst juvenile delinquents, I was pretty sure that if I had children, at least one of them would wind up being the world’s worst serial killer. lol

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